7 Nisan 2008 Pazartesi

memory- "emo"ry- o'rly

somethings stick on me like flies on hellish summer nights.
somethings, i forget so fast that, maybe they've never existed.

the stickies are infectious. it is really frustrating not to be able to choose which memories to keep, which ones to throw away.

for example, i wanna throw away one moment recently, put it in a blue plastic bag, not even recycle.
let it rot away some place far far away. a shitty 17.15.
i remember every single detail of it. if a genie would come along, i would ask him for a chance to replace that with a recent one, which was warm, all smiles and peaceful in contrary.

but, no genies seem to answer the alarm call, so, Robbie's words from atonement rings in my mind:

ROBBIE (V.O.)

The story can resume. Our story can
resume. I will simply resume.


(...)

Dearest Cecilia, the story can resume.

The one I had been planning on that
evening walk. I can become again the
man who once walked across a Surrey
park at dusk in my best suit,
swaggering on the promise of life; the
man who, with the clarity of passion,
made love to you in the library. The
story can resume.



I will return. Find you, love you,
marry you, and live without shame.




but, no.

the story will NOT resume.

this useless "emo"ry will die. i'll keep on forgetting stuff like, what did i eat on sunday, when did i talk about my grandfather's perfumery, the main character's name on the tv show i liked some much... and the other's along with those daily junk, will be lost.

one day, i'll wake up and find myself completely blank.

and then, you will be able to write anything you like on me.

i will just tickle and giggle.

rly.

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